For many women, this will not be new. In my case, over the summer I finally "got" what people had been discussing half my life. I had always been concerned but had somehow missed the forest and was too worried about a small part of it.
Why does an
academic need to know about rape? Because our students are at their peak risk years
for becoming both victims and perpetrators of rape. Of women who are raped, more
than half of the total are reported to have been raped before they turn 18. Affected women in higher education will be
dealing with acute responses to rapes suffered while at University and with the
aftermath of earlier experience. Be ready to listen so that when someone speaks
you can hear and be prepared to direct them to sources of support. Most
Universities have counselling services. Be prepared with the contact details. A
student may present other signs of distress such as loss of engagement with studies
and indications of self-harm. Be prepared and try to get them support.
For men, studies indicate that rapists start in their early teens with the majority perpetrating
their first rape by 29. Within this age range are our students. In one of the big studies I discuss below, there was considerable variation in rape both between countries and within countries. I believe that men are pretty much the same the world over, what varies is education and social structures. We can't fundamentally change the nature of men, but we can change their outlook and understanding. It is what we do. We are educators. For example, in one study, the two most
common reasons men gave for raping was “entitlement” and “entertainment”. Both motivations
could yield to education. A study of the men in
the US navy found that education works. By providing training and
education, rape myth acceptance is lessened and empathy toward victims
increased. We can try. It has to be better than not listening and turning our
backs. We can do more.
Where does this come from?
The last
year changed my understanding of rape. Several things contributed.
There have been discussions in the news. Students have talked to me about rapes they have suffered. Friends
and family have made me aware of rapes they have suffered. Most importantly, well informed female friends have brought articles to
my attention about men and rape as well as older discussions and academic studies
on the subject.
There are
many myths about rape. One is the stereotype is the stranger lying in
wait in dark places who carries out violent sexual attacks on random women.
This is “stranger rape.” This was my stereotype until recently. These people exist and they are very dangerous. However, they do not seem to be the majority
and when compared to other types of rapists the numbers are smaller. Violence also sends them to jail. It is the key difference between incarcerated and unincarcerated rapists. Of the
women who made me aware of rapes they have suffered, none has fit this
stereotype. They were raped by ex-partners, family members, and
acquaintances.
The latter
is more prevalent and goes by a variety of descriptions, “acquaintance rape”, “partner
rape”, “date rape”, etc. None really describes the full range of situations but
all fit a pattern of rape by someone who is known to the victim. There has been an unfortunate amount of “controversy”
about forms of rape that do not fit the stereotype. There has been scepticism, denial, and
avoidance of full discussion. I will be blunt, not enough people believed the
figures when they were based solely on studies of female experience. That is unfortunate.
To avoid
these old familiar discussions, let’s not listen to the victims for a moment.
Let’s listen to the rapists. If you are doubtful about acquaintance rape, partner
rape, or whatever term is being used to describe non-stranger rape, it is time
you sit up and pay attention.
Let’s park something.
If you are concerned about some hypothetical man in a bar or in a relationship who
is worried his partner believes he raped her due to a miscommunication, put
that concern aside for now. That is pretty messed up and that man needs to
listen to himself say “I think she may believe I raped her by accident due to a
miscommunication” enough times to go seek help. He may even end up in jail, but as messed up as he is, such a
man doesn’t count in this discussion. Why not? Because he didn’t knowingly use
force or intoxicants to get a woman he knew to have sex with him against her
will.
Have I got
your attention? When the term “rape” is
not used and the behaviour we call rape is described, a subset of the male
population reports raping women. They rape a lot of women. They rape strangers,
friends, acquaintances, co-workers, and family members. They also rape some
men. From the survey reports, they seem clear in their minds about what they
are doing. Worst of all, they get away with it because it is very hard to prove in
court. In the absence of overt signs of
violence it is easy to claim “it was consensual.”
The facts:
In a large
study in of men in asia, 24.5% reported subjecting their partners to sexual
violence. This means they forced a partner to have sexual intercourse when she
did not want to or had sexual intercourse with a partner when she did not want
to. That’s rape. 17%
of women report being raped during their lifetime. If anything women are
under-reporting the degree of sexual violence they are subjected to; perhaps
believing the men did not know what they were doing, didn’t mean to,
etc. However, the evidence indicates the men knew what they were doing. To be
clear: the percentage of men who report raping their partners EXCEEDS the
percentage of women who report being raped in these studies.
In a
related study of men in asia, 10.9% of men reported raping women who were not
their partners. This is not women accusing men of rape, this is what men said
they did and some of these were serial rapists who raped over 10 women. These
men raped women because they felt entitled. They did it for entertainment. They
did it because they were angry. Return to the hypothetical man wondering if his
partner thinks he raped her. That man has a serious problem but taking
him at his word, he is in an altogether different category. These are not men confused about signals a woman is giving
them. These are not men worried about communication within their relationships.
These are men who forced women to have sex against their will and many did so
repeatedly.
In another
study of 1882 male university students with an average age of 26.5 years, 6.4%
of men self-reported acts that met the legal definition of rape. They averaged
4 rapes each. The majority of the 6.4% were repeat rapists. Some of these were
very prolific. Doing the math, if all of these were unique victims it would
more than account for all the women who report rapes. The 6.4% were also
responsible for a wide range of other violent acts including acts of violence
and sexual abuse toward children. Some of the repeat rapists reported between 9
and 50 rapes.
Some refer to 6.4% as a small proportion. It is not and
other studies have found between 6 and 14% of men report acts meeting the legal
definition of rape. It is not just one study. These are high numbers and if you
are incredulous toward the results of
surveys of women, do the maths. Enough rapes were reported to account for 25.6%
of the female population. In the study of men in Asia, 24.5% of men reported
acts of sexual violence toward their partners. The proportion of women
reporting being raped is LOWER probably due to some women being repeat victims.
The study also
reported how the men did it. 80.8% of the men in this subset reported raping
women incapacitated by drugs or alcohol. These men specifically target women in
this way. The men also reported using force or threats of force but that was a
much smaller proportion. Despite the limited use of force when raping, a subset
representing 4% of the men in the study was responsible for 28% of the total
violence IN THE ENTIRE SAMPLE of 1882 men. These men are not like most men. They
are 7 times more violent and more likely to abuse children.
A study of
new naval recruits found similar results, albeit with a higher proportion (13%)
of men reporting acts meeting the definition of rape. They used similar methods with intoxicants
used more often than force. What this study also found was that they selected
acquaintances (89%) preferentially over strangers (24%), and in this sample only used
force on acquaintances.
This is
what the MEN reported. These studies
show that women will tell us what we need to know about rape, if we are willing
to listen. Men tell us much the same thing if we ask the right questions. The
picture they provide fits with what I have learned from students, friends, and
family. None said they were raped by a violent stranger. All were known to
them.
As educators we could be doing more.
Notes:
Links to
the main original articles are below:
A discussion
of the issues involved in the first two studies changed my outlook and a similar
perspective may be found here: Meet
the Predators.